Is your child quitting everything they start? Need a Commitment Overhaul?
Here is a letter from a parent to Dr. Robyn Silverman asking about why her child keeps quitting his activities. What’s interfering with her child’s commitment level?
Dear Dr. Robyn,
I hate to admit it, but my child is a quitter. Knowing the Powerful Word of the Month at our school this month is commitment, it seemed that now was the perfect time to ask what’s going on here. I don’t want to raise a quitter. Have any ideas on why a child quits everything they start?
–Jan K, Baltimore, MD
The question of commitment and quitting comes up every time our Powerful Words schools present Powerful Words like commitment, determination, attitude, or goal-setting. As Powerful Parents, we want our children to show commitment and determination. So what’s making them quit?
Children quit for all different reasons. Some children feel bored while others feel overwhelmed. Some children have unrealistic expectations that they are going to be performing the kind of martial arts, gymnastics, swimming, or other sport that they see “in the movies” or in the Olympics on the first day that they attend. Other children see “today’s activity” simply as another activity that they do—easily interchanged with football, basketball or dance lessons– so why stick with one thing? Still other children feel invisible to the instructor, picked on, misunderstood or scared when they take class.
Make sure to ask questions rather than lecture. Why do they want to quit? Did anything happen in class? Are they bored? Overwhelmed? How do they feel about their friends in class? Their teachers? Is the curriculum too hard? Too easy? And also, remember, to watch what you say and you do. If you are quitting your activities, or someone else of influence in your home or family is doing so, children will learn volumes about the loop holes in commitment. Take your cues from your child’sPowerful Words instructors this month and expand on what they are talking about in class with your children. Discuss it at the dinner table and in the car. Tell stories about your own triumphs and how you stuck with something even when it was difficult. Talk about the importance of seeing the end and setting goals. And of course, set the precedent that your family always finishes what they start– everyone should have that “no quit, go-for-it attitude!” that helps each member to lead with commitment– and your children will surely learn to follow suit.
If you feel like your child isn't getting enough or is getting too much from our gym please let us know. Sometimes we can't read every child and we need open communication to help make things better for you and for us. We want to be the best gym for your kids but we can't do that without your support. Thank you and we look forward to working with you!
SVG Team!
